THE LIGHT OF RECOVERY…………… “WHAT IF?” I know that I was going to write about “What is Sex…….REALLY?” today. However, life has a way of changing our plans. Anyway, Sex is really not that important. It can wait until next week. At least, that is what my first wife always told me. See, I was talking with one of my very good friends, Anne Bender, this week about future topics. Anne suggested the topic of “WHAT IF?”. And the more I thought about it, the more important that topic is, even more than sex. Now, have you ever thought about the “What If’s” in your life? Anne and I have been very good friends for 27 years. And she reminded me that we met because of a “What If?” moment. See, I was doing a workshop in Milton (Pennsylvania) and Anne had planned to attend with one of her friends that I also knew. Well, at the last moment, our mutual friend changed her mind and decided not to attend my workshop. Anne thought about it and decided to come alone and that is how we met. Now “What If” Anne had made the choice not to come alone? We would have never met and become very good friends for the past 27 years. Think about your life. What are the “What If?” moments that have changed your life? I remember the decision to leave the Air Force in 1968. I had planned to make a career of the military. I had made rank very quickly because of my career field, coming back from Vietnam, and making Staff Sergeant in only three years. And then I fell in love with the EX-wife of my best friend (now get this straight, I did NOT say the wife of my EX-best friend). And she did not want to date anyone in the military because of the way her ex-husband came back mentally from Vietnam. If we were going to be married, I would need to get out of the Air Force when my enlistment was up. And so, I took an early discharge. Now “What If” I would have remained in the Air Force? Although our marriage only lasted a couple years, I would not have experienced the life that I have had in my journey. I would not have worked for the Bureau of Customs in Washington, D.C. I would not have become a cop and lived undercover in drug groups and organized crime associations. I would not have become an ordained minister and a published author. And I would probably would not have met my second wife who changed my life. Upon reflection, my life has been a series of “WHAT IF’s?”. If I had not lived through a near-fatal car accident, I would not have gone to seminary and, eventually, recovered from my alcohol addiction. I would have probably killed myself a long time ago. Again, think about the “WHAT IF?” moments or decisions that have changed the course of your life. “What If” you had not married her? “What If” you had married some other man? “What If” you had decided to do something else in your life? Where would you be today? I would really appreciate and like to know your feedback and suggestions, positive or negative. Also, if you have any topic ideas that I could write about, please let me know. I will give you credit if you want to be mentioned in this blog. This Blog will be posted every Monday and I am not very creative so I need your help. THANK YOU, Anne Bender, for your topic suggestion. I think we all have experienced “WHAT IF?” moments if we reflect on our lives. Maybe you can share them with me. You can connect with me here on Facebook or write to me at my email address, , or send me a message through my website, .

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