Sharon’s Light

     Sharon’s story is not unique. There are many stories about women, some documented and others untold, who have lived through the painful experiences that Sharon was confronted with in her life. See, Sharon is only a “reflection” of the women who had their lives changed because of domestic violence, sexual abuse in relationships and the effects of eating disorders created as harmful ways of coping and trying to control their situations. And like the stories of many other women, Sharon’s life was tragically shortened because of physical damage to her body and psychological damage to her mind resulting from long-term effects of physical, mental and emotional abuse. Sharon was not murdered. However, I believe that Sharon died mentally and emotionally many years before her weak and damaged heart finally could not take the strain of functioning inside her frail and fragile small body. Now, some people would say that Sharon’s death was God’s Will. Although I have a deep faith in God and repeat the words of The Lord’s Prayer almost religiously, the phrase “Thy Will Be Done” still does not comfort me when I reflect on my life with Sharon. However, I do believe that God brought Sharon and I together in this life for a reason and a purpose. And even after fourteen years, Sharon’s spirit still gives my life a sense of meaning and fulfillment. See, in her way, because of the years that I was blessed with only a brief moment in time with Sharon, she changed my life and personality without her knowing the way she affected me. Sharon’s story, although very painful and tragic, is also very powerful because of the inner loudness that was covered over, muted and muffled by the outer silence of her visible personality. See, because of the years of living in abuse, Sharon created a personality that “masked” her inner thoughts, emotions and feelings. Upon reflection, Sharon was not unlike many people who present a physical public image of the person they want other people to believe they really are, although this image is, many times, a false perception. See, for Sharon, it was a personality created as a form of self-protection. And she would only allow people to pass so far into the entrance of the gated and guarded walls of her mind. Sharon was my wife. She died on April 25, 2005. And as I reflect on the brief moment in time that God granted me with Sharon I think that, many times, the greatest gift in any relationship is not that it gives us what we want and desire but that it, at times, denies us what we want and desire. In this process, we gain more than we expected and hoped for in life. Now, how does someone begin to write a story about eternal love? How does a person attempt to put into words a story about a love that is unique and timeless? How does a person truly define the real meaning of Love? It is time that I return to writing and “SHARON’S LIGHT” will be a tragic love story. And this story will not be about the limits of physical love. See, in my relationship with Sharon, I would reach a level of love that transcends the physical limitations of what most people think or believe they know about love. See, in her way, Sharon would teach me how to love someone who could not give love in return. “SHARON’S LIGHT” will be intended to inspire the reader to take the journey within oneself to seek, find, feel, know and own the power and depth of love of “Self”. My desire in sharing my life with Sharon will be for the reader to recognize and understand that love is eternally present within oneself. There is no need to seek and search for love and hope to find it in a relationship or desire for physical sex. Again, I would appreciate your comments or feedback. I would also like to have your thoughts on future blog topics. You can contact me through Facebook and by “friending” me. Or you can write to my personal email address, mbkaminski@tds.net , or through my website, www.michaelbkaminski.com .

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